the stig quotes

Anyone who is a top gear view will know what I'm taking about

So I thought it would be fun to list all the funny sayings jeremy clarkson makes up about the stig before he does a power lap

Here is some I know:

He sucks the moisture from ducks
His favorite food is cheese

......if you know any add to the list

here are a few we made up for a little game we had on another forum a few years ago


Some say, he eats brains to steal your special powers and he is the test driver for santa's sleigh, all we know is he's called the STIG
Some say, he has nitrous oxide running through his veins and betweens meals he nibbles on dry ice, all we know is he's called.......

Some say he has 7 testicles, each of which emits a different Japanese obscenity when squeezed with a gloved hand, and that he was born at the age of 88 and slowly ages backwards into childhood.

All we know, is that he's called the Stig...

Some say with the flick of his left hand index finger all women on Earth orgasm, and that he was born wearing that suit.

All we know is..

some say he was thrown out of a pub because he asked for a pint of unleaded others say when he sneezes time slows down half a second and others say his genitals are upside down, he's also illegal in 17 US states all we know is ......

Some say, he has a part-time job as The Grim Reaper. And, that he comes flat-packed from Ikea. All we know is he's called THE STIG

Some say that his surname really is Jones, and that if you give him a 68 he'll owe you one. All we know is, he's called Vinny-69

some say he used to own a special pink clio 182 cup.And that he has never had any friends And if you remove his helmet you will find him wearing a pink fluffy gimp mask and an old dummy all we know is he call's himself Boobles